Your Standard Issue Phobia

I moved in with my boyfriend in November, 5 months later in April he told me to get the fuck out and that exactly what I did and haven’t looked back since. (Until he recently texted me)

2 ½ years into our already rocky relationship we decided HEY! Lets fuck this up even more and move in together. Moving in together will not fix your relationship problems. I repeat, IT WILL NOT. It seemed like a great idea at the time. He just found out I was cheating on him, we broke up, he took me back, and I’m pretty sure I did and said anything I could to keep him- 90% of it was a lie. Whatever. It worked, didn’t it?download-1.jpg

The first couple weeks were fun. Although, not what I signed up for. I signed up for moving out of my parents house and in with my boyfriend thinking we’d be having this wild sex life, fucking all over the apartment. On the stairs, on the counter, the kitchen floor. NOPE. More like your standard issue missionary on the bed once a month! He’s a really nice guy though.

The day he kicked me out was a really great day. I made a really nice breakfast, I wanted to vacuum, which he didn’t seem to like. So I went to m room to get ready for the day. He came upstairs and told me to get the fuck out. He left, came back an hour later to all my bags packed, a moving truck and me and my 3 friends drinking and moving everything I paid for out of the apartment. Even the butter in the freezer and the last 2 rolls of toilet paper because, fuck him.  To this day I believe he has a pretty real fear of vacuum cleaners.Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 9.35.55 PM.png

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