What a fucking weekend. 4th of July really sneaks up on you and then it’s all over, quicker than a 15 year old boy losing his virginity.
I know Taylor Swift enjoyed her weekend, not as much as Ryan Reynolds though. As we know Ryan is married to Blake Lively who is besties (gay) with Taylor. Taylor and all her celeb friends had a huge party over the weekend and Ryan wanted nothing to do with it. He, like every other man in a relationship, was forced to hang out with his wives annoying famous friends. Taylor being at the top if the annoying list. He looks like he is being held hostage because, HE IS! His face says it all. Women…stop fucking forcing your man into things. No man wants that. Unless of course you promise beers and blowjobs, then we have another story.
Onto the next one… Fergie, who has been MIA since 2014 when she dropped her last single L.A. Love (la la), just dropped her newest single M.I.L.F. $ and it’s FUCKING AMAZING. A+ Fergie. I missed you. I’ve been listening to it on repeat along with the video. The video is great, except for Kim Kardashian. In the video Fergie has celebs like Chrissy Teigen, Ciara, and Alessandra Ambrosio who all look amazing. Kim K just looks like she’s trying to steal the show and feels way to important. She is pouring milk all over her thinking she’s filming her next sex tape. Relax Kimmy, take it down a notch.All the hot moms out there should be fucking blasting this rolling up to drop their kids off at day care. I’ll probably do that on my way to babysit right now. whatevs. I’m hot.