Well first off I want to say happy Father’s Day to all the dads who are legit dads. By that I mean dads who give a shit about their kids and when they took their first steps and so on. But we also have to say happy Father’s Day to the sperm donors…because you needed an extra fee bucks, you’ve got a bunch of kids running around out there. You are of course not legit dads like I mentioned above. But thank you for your service.
Talking about sperm donors, there was a moment in time when I was in college where I seriously considered donating my eggs. Women get thousands of dollars for one egg like, TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. Fuck, I’ll still do it. I can get a shit ton of shoes for 10K or whatever the fuck else I wanted. Instead of having a kid and having to spend money on said child, which I just found out is WAY more than 10K, I’ll get paid to get rid of my kids. Or just one. Jusssttttt one egg for a quick 10K. YAAAAASSS. I’m not 100% sold that kids are for me. Babysitting is one thing, like I’ll hang out with you for a few hours and it’ll be fucking awesome. But I don’t have to give you a bath or buy your food and diapers and this little thing called college. NOPEEEEE. Not today. That’s my money.
Cheers to all the fathers working your ass off so your kid can get drunk in college!