Holding Out For a Hero (aka Super Tuesday)

Today is something called Super Tuesday, I have no clue why because I don’t give a shit about politics. I don’t vote I don’t really care. My generation only likes Trump because he’s awesome on social media and we know him but if he wins I feel like we are all doomed.

Anyway, Super Tuesday to me means just another Tuesday with some not so super news.

  • Kylie Jenner is trying to trademark her name- but Kylie Minogue is throwing some serious shade mostly by referring to her as a “secondary reality television personality”- sucks to suck Kylie (Jenner)
    • Like what if I wanted to trademark my name? What’s the actual point? So no one else can be named Nicole and if so I can sue them and collect money from them? Get a FUCKING grip “King Kylie” 1. you don’t need extra money. 2. you’re not THAT cool. We get it you’re Kylie Jenner but you’re not Kim and if it wasn’t for Kim you wouldn’t be Kylie Jenner.
  • And in more exciting news: A 4 year old boy is all of us when we see a pack of Oreos- his first experience with a vending machine, this kid sticks his hand up the machine and tries to grab the Oreos and his arm gets stuck for 6 hours. I feel bad for him because he now has a negative view of vending machines (because who doesn’t love a good vending machine) and he had to wait 6 hours to eat his Oreos. Poor guy.
  • Oh and then there’s Chris Jones. I don’t know a fucking thing about sports, especially football- nor do I give a shit about it, I couldn’t care any less about football. Literally if football didn’t exist anymore it wouldn’t make any difference to me in the world. But when something exciting happens like this guy Chris Jones running and his dick came right out of his shorts and he had to fall so he could put it away, after we all saw it, this is exciting, this is what I want to see every football game, just dicks everywhere, then maybe I’d watch. No, I DEF would. That was HUGE dick, I guess it’s true what they say about black guys. I’ve been watching this dick on repeat for hours.
  • You’re welcome! 

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