Happy National Drink Wine Day! aka the only thing getting me through the work day is knowing there’s a bottle of wine (or 3) waiting for me at home.
Today I’m going to fill you on some exciting stuff.
Today is also Cow Milked While Flying in an Airplane Day. You might ask if the cow was flying the plane but, that’s not exactly what happened. 80 years ago today the cow, Elm Farm Ollie, was the first cow to ever fly in a plane and during this flight she was milked and then the milk was sealed in paper containers and parachuted over St. Louis- an exciting day for Ms. Elm Farm Ollie
Today is also National Hate Florida Day- I think we all know how this one came about, because people in Florida are STUPID FUCKS. Making headlines today “Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire” yes, you read that correctly. This man (pictured below) was trying to amuse his wife by lighting his farts on fire after eating Chipotle (Which I have to admit is hysterical and something my boyfriend would do… just not in our meth lab)- normally they eat Del Taco but they made some extra cash this week so Chipotle it was! The wife plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. (not sure if she has enough money for a lawyer ?) She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Can’t say I blame her…when your eyebrows are on point, fuck with them and you die.